Thursday, May 29, 2008

Just hanging out!

Well, my period started on Friday the 23rd. I was home sick that day with an awful cold that has migrated around between my throat, ears, head and chest. I called Cooper to tell them and was asked to go get labs that same day. So I drove all the way into Atlanta just for labs… when I got results my estrogen was over 300 – way too high to start cycling. They weren’t sure at that point it if was just break through bleeding or what was going on, as it didn’t make sense for it to be my period. It is though; I’m on day 7 and still having a very light flow. So, I get labs done again tomorrow to see what’s going on! I have a feeling I’ll be going on BCPs or at least waiting until my next period before we can start cycling.

I asked Terri at Cooper what she thought, if we were going to be able to continue cycling until we get it right, or if there are any indications Cooper will “pull the plug” – she said she thinks we should keep trying until we get there, and she’s not heard anything from the Doctor’s indicating otherwise. That gave me some relief! I am really, really excited and hopeful for our next cycle and just FEEL that we’re going to get there!! I am just so ready!! :)

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

How did I get so lucky?

I had a long chat with my IM last night, and I was so choked up by the end of it. I WISH I had a recording of the conversation, so I could play it over, and over, and over, and over again... (I'm getting teary reliving it)... I cannot tell you how many times she said to me "We are only doing this with you, you are our last chance for a sibling for Fiona, if its not with you its not happening, we love you, we appreciate you, we are so thankful for everything you have done for us, we appreciate all of your hard work and effort, we know you are doing everything you can do, we will try as many times as it takes..." We talked about taking a month off to let my body rest, my IF feels strongly that we should, my IM and I could go either way. I certainly don't think it would hurt to take a break, so I'm all for it if it will give them that extra peace of mind, and who knows, maybe an extra med free month WOULD be a good thing! On the flip side, I was all excited about getting to go to NJ right around my birthday for transfer in June!!

They are concerned that Cooper is going to get to the point where they refuse to work with me again, and that's why they want to make sure we do all we can to make this next cycle be IT!! I was never told this straight out, but last time Cooper told them on my last cycle that they wouldn't work with me again if that one didn't get me to transfer... doesn't surprise me, but we're on our 3rd real cycle again and I'm sure they are going to tell them the same thing again... I really, really do feel positive about it though, I am looking forward to hearing what protocol they want to try and hope they come to the same conclusions I have, and I really hope this is IT! I feel like it will be, whether it’s June or July... I just feel humbled by T & I. They have to be some of the most genuinely fantastic people I have EVER met, and to know they really seem to feel the same about me... just blows my mind how blessed I am. It really, really does.

My IM kept telling me too, what a good surromom I was to Fiona and that she's such a good baby, giving me credit for her good baby!!! I laughed and told her I think her genetics and parenting might have a little something to do with it too!! I just feel warm from my head to my toes... I really do, and in all honesty I am thankful for the last 2 cycles and the time we've had because I feel so reconnected to them again, so 100% recommitted to them. I just feel at peace again and that fills me up with nothing but positivity.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Happy Mother’s Day!

T&I sent me a GORGEOUS bouquet of flowers on Saturday with the sweetest note that said “Thank you for all you have done for us,” and I found pictures this morning in my inbox from Mother’s day of my IM with Fiona… SO precious!! I am truly blessed, and I realize how very lucky I am to be their GS… They are some of the kindest people I have ever known. I am thankful for them!

Kenneth and Kent got me a very cool picture frame that I had seen at the store and really liked – it has 3 regular picture frames and the 4th one is a digital frame (all connected)! It’s beautiful, and I can’t wait to load up the memory card with tons of pictures! I love it!

Overall, Mother’s Day was a really nice day though I am still really struggling with my hormone levels fluctuating so much (since I stopped meds on Friday)… I am hoping they level out soon because I’ve had a couple random outbursts of tears and I KNOW I’m crying for no reason, and that always bothers me even more. Cooper is going to do a cycle review on ALL of my previous cycles, and we’ll see what they think for our next cycle. I think we’ll probably be starting meds again within about 7-10 more days.

Friday, May 09, 2008

4th Lining Check - Cycle Over

I just have to wait for the official word, but my lining went down to a 5mm... I could cry... I feel very helpless in all of this, because it’s all so out of my control. I talked to my IM and I know she's disappointed too; she had a good feeling about this cycle... maybe June... I'll update when I hear back on our game plan for next cycle.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

3rd Lining Check…

Progesterone: 0.2

Estradiol: 1745

So, things are getting there (better than Monday) but not there yet. I'm up to a 6.6mm lining (from 5.7mm on Monday) still a grade IE+ to TL (which is good) and no fluid! I’m staying on my meds another couple days and having a recheck on FRIDAY!! If that one is good then we'll aim for a Tuesday transfer and I'd fly to NJ on Sunday and spend a day with my IPs before transfer. I talked to my IM this morning, and she's so sure it’s going to happen, and already planning everything out... I really hope it happens! We had a great conversation; she wants me to come on Sunday so we have all day Monday to go to Atlantic City and she is so curious to see how Fiona will react to me – its VERY sweet and my heart melted all over again as we were talking… Her and my IF decided they want me to stay at their home the whole time so they can take care of me and make sure I rest, and so I can spend more time with Fiona… I just keep thinking how BLESSED and lucky I truly am.

I had another acupuncture session yesterday as well, which was wonderful. This is my 3rd and I really zoned RIGHT OUT this time. It was pretty cool – I keep wondering if I’m just falling asleep or what, but the time just FLIES by! My acupuncturist was very positive and encouraging. I really like him!

Now to stay busy and hope for the best on Friday… I feel like my heart is in my throat!

Monday, May 05, 2008

2nd Lining Check…

Estradiol: 1804

My lining is KILLING ME!! :) Two very good pieces of news are that its now a trilameter pattern which I haven’t had in a long time (since my first 2 canceled cycles), AND no fluid!! However, it decreased from a 6mm to a 5.7mm. I assumed they were going to cancel us, but because the pattern improved they’re going to keep me on meds another 2 days and recheck to see if I gain anything between now and then. So, prolonging the hope and the NERVES!! Ack!! It is still possible, and I’m hanging on to that!

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Numbers are in...

Progesterone 0.3
Estrogen 1981
Lining 6mm

Staying on meds with a recheck on Monday... I hate this part!! Monday will be nervewracking... Cooper was happy with where I was, but I am afraid I'm not going to thicken up enough, or that my uterus will be fluid filled, or my lining will deteriorate... BUT I'm going to try to stay focused on positives and stay hopeful, and just see what happens! :)

1st Lining Check…

I went this morning at 8:00 am and had labs and a lining check done. Dr. Kaplan did the scan by herself, and since there was no nurse in the room she didn’t verbalize anything she saw! She said “It’s getting there”, wrote her notes and left!! ACK!! So, now I have to wait to hear back from Cooper. Seems to me that I have some thickening left to go, and will get re-checked on Monday as planned. I would just like to know how MUCH farther I have to go in that time frame!! Trying not to worry, just wish I knew… sigh.

I’ll have a better update by this afternoon. In the mean time, I need to go find some lunch as I’m starving right now. :)