Friday, February 27, 2009

Thinking it through out loud

So I've been mulling this over ever since the post on SMO about baby versus relationship (linked above) and then some more in depth discussion with a few of my friends through SMO...

I am feeling a little moody and hormonal right now so I hope this makes some sort of sense; I'm just going to think through this out loud because it feels better to get it off my chest. At first some of what I read felt hurtful to me, I interpretted some of the comments as looking down on the "needy surrogates" who are demanding because they expect a relationship with their IPs, etc. I was taking that pretty personally, because I feel I AM one of those surrogates who hopes for (but wouldn't ever use the word expects/demands/is owed) a long term relationship with my IPs (which I define as casual contact on-going as long as it feels right to everyone in the future, just like any other friend). I didn't get into surrogacy for my personal fulfillment, the ultimate goal IS seeing that baby with the IPs, but I would never want it to be at my expense, and I wouldn't knowingly enter into an agreement where the IPs had zero plans to stay in touch afterwards.

Then this morning when I was thinking about it some more I realized that if I never hear from my FIPs (T&I) again I don't think it would hurt me... I will still think of them on a regular basis (and of course hope for updates and will always enjoy hearing from them), but my interest in them has become much more casual over time, and if they want to move on and just "be" there are no regrets on my part... part of me feels really guilty for feeling so nonchalant about it. I tried to go into the GS hoping for the best, preparing for the worst, and was extremely happy with the amount of contact and updates I had from the beginning through our failed transfer... then there was an adjustment phase (these last couple months) of much reduced contact and at first I was not particularly bothered, but "aware" of it, I guess? I missed them, and missed the interraction I was used to having... and now all of a sudden I realize I have "moved on"... just like that... and that feels VERY WIERD... almost callous, but at the same time "ok"... ? If I had posted about this even a month ago, I wouldn't have said any of that - I would have said I hoped to continue hearing from them monthly and expected we'd stay in touch, but now I don't think I do expect that anymore... How did that happen? Not to say I think they have "cut me off" by any means, I think this IS the natural progression - we aren't working together to achieve a pregnancy any longer, and we don't have an actual "need" to be in touch - this is just what's next for us. This is NOT to say it isn't/couldn't/shouldn't be very different for someone else (or that it won't be different with Vicki & John, as I think it will be), just what has become and what is. Would I feel different if our contact level had dropped so much immediately after delivery? I have to think my answer would be yes. I think that first 6-12 months of regular updates was important for me, I'm sure I would have been ok if I hadn't had it, but I do think all the updates, the visit I had, etc. has shaped how I will forever feel about my surrogacy with them and I am grateful to T&I for that. It has been said that as a surrogate you need to be able to find fulfillment from within, and not expect another party to create that for you. I think that is a WISE statement, but I also think that when the other party chooses to offer contact, updates, friendship and more it is only natural to find happiness in that as well and to have it impact your feelings - how could it not? That said, it is also important that if you had NONE of that, that you could still find a way to be proud, and be happy with your journey.

Just my musings for the day!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Maybe?

Just another quick pop in! My chart is showing possible ovulation, today would be 5dpo, my temp has steadily climbed the last 5 days, reaching over 98.0 as of yesterday, and still higher today... not sure what to think about that! If I did finally "o" I am happy! I have been SO crampy leading up to the last couple days, and still having some twinges (like right now as I type), but they really seem a lot better all of a sudden. I am hoping the next couple days confirm higher temps and ovulation (and I've been checking in the PM too, and my temp is elevated then as well, which is usually a fairly "sure sign" from my body that progesterone is running rampant). So, if I did then we have a little less then 10 days until my cycle starts and we're off like a herd of turtles for our March IUI!! WOO HOO!! :D That would put us right around March 21st if the metforming gets me back on track and we have a normal 14-15 days until ovulation (instead of 30+ like the last 2 months, ugh)!


Here's what it looks like today:


I can't believe after Saturday MARCH will really be here - I'm so excited!! I can't wait to count down to our IUI!! YAY!!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

It ends in BOOM!

Kenneth had a late night at school, so Vicki and I got together with the boys at Johnny's Pizza last night! It was great to hang out a little and let the kiddos play - they were having a blast at the end, everything was ending in "boom"!! I still cannot get over how lucky I am to have found such an amazing couple, so close to me!! I've seen Vicki more times in the months we've known each other then I did my FIPs in the years I've known them... still boggles my mind a little!! I am so impatient for my period to arrive so we can get on with cycling for next month - I'm SOO EXCITED! :D My Fertility Friend chart is showing possible ovulation 3 days ago, I don't believe it yet - we'll see what my temps do the next couple days. It would be nice if that were the case and we could have a more definitive timeline for when my period will arrive, or if my period would just go ahead and show up - that would be great too! :D

In any event, it is a beautiful day here and I'm working on wrapping up some projects so I can head out early to take a big box of notebooks to Kent's school that we're donating!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Oh the insanity!

Once again, we tortured ourselves this weekend by visiting the animal shelter... I wanted to bring a dog home SOOO STINKIN' BAD!! There was this little chihuahua there who was a mess... his ears had been cut off with scissors, and he had huge scars running the length of his little body - we were told he'd been used as a "bait dog" for fighting... and yet he had the BEST little personality!! Incredibly sweet, just wants to snuggle up with you, his tail went 100 miles a minute the whole time... he was a little timid and nervous around the other larger dogs, which was our biggest concern - I would hate to bring him home and then have him stressed out by our big dogs, but I have a feeling a little time would have him overcoming that, he seems to be one of those very resilient little ones... Oh he just broke my heart though! I'm still thinking about him this morning... too bad (or maybe its a good thing?) the shelter isn't open today!!

Friday, February 20, 2009

And now for something completely different!

I will talk about my normal, every day existence!! No obsessing about OPKs or temperatures today! :D

So part A of my post should be titled "Which of these things doesn't belong"? And if only I had a picture to go along with that question!! On Wednesday afternoon Sadie (our rottweiler) had her annual vet appointment for vaccines and heartworm/fecal tests. When I got home I discovered Kenneth had taken the Ford Focus to school that day because of the rain (normally he rides his motorcycle)... well crap, that means I now have to fit my nearly 100lb dog into the passenger seat of my CORVETTE!!! There was no other place for her to sit, and no other way to get her there... so in she went! It was HILARIOUS!! Her butt was on the seat, her front 2 paws on the mat on the floor, and her head on the dashboard!! I was cracking up! Hopefully we provided some amusement to the other drivers on the road that afternoon as well, and thankfully it wasn't a long trip. She did great at the vet and home we went!!

Part B is "The perfect Subway sandwich". I love Subway! I like sandwiches, but I love it when someone else makes them for me, and really like one particular sandwich at Subway. So this is MY perfect Subway sandwich (which I inevitably end up ordering anytime I eat there):
Turkey
Honey Oat bread
American cheese
Lettuce
Tomato
Olives
Pickles
Mayo
Mustard
Pepper

Yummy!! I just enjoyed one for lunch and am feeling full and sleepy! Is it nap time?

I'm so happy its Friday again (though when I look back this week really flew by!) and am looking forward to this weekend! Vicki invited me for a Saturday girls night/sleep over and I can't wait! One of Vicki's friends whom I haven't met yet will be coming as well - we're going to catch a chick flick and have a grown up slumber party, no boys allowed...! :) Kenneth grumbled at me, as usual when I tell/ask him about leaving him for any amount of time on the weekend, but I'm sure he and Kent will survive without me for a night.

Nothing new to report otherwise! Still temping and just waiting for AF to arrive so we can move on to our March cycle, and hoping it will be soon!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

We "sneak peeked" yesterday

Vicki and I were IMing yesterday and just wondering WHAT is really going on with my ovaries and my cycle this month, so I called the doctor who'll be doing the IUI and they said they could see us that afternoon. We met up yesterday afternoon at the doctor's office for a sneak peek at what on God's green earth is going on with my ovaries and Vicki surprised me with the most gorgeous Pandora's Bracelet and 4 amazing charms... the bracelet is BEAUTIFUL, but the sentiment and little print out she gave me with it pushed it so far over the top...

There are seriously NO WORDS to adequately say thank you to my IM! She is such an amazing woman with an incredibly HUGE heart, and has blessed me so much in the time that we've known each other...

Here's what she wrote:

One heart charm for
The love we have for you

The present charm for
The gift you are going to carry for us


The blue and green charm for
Our two families becoming one


The big heart charm for
The love that we will all give this child





I teared up in the office, but think I was still in shock too - it is such a heartfelt and generous gift, and so incredibly touching... I really started bawling on the way home!! I just feel so lucky and so thankful that Vicki found me, that she's allowing me to help her build her family... she's simply the best!

After our appointment, I'm still feeling a little confused about what exactly Dr. H said and what was important and what wasn't! Vicki heard him say one thing and I heard something else and I don't know if he contradicted himself or if he changed his mind!! In any event, overall things look ok and after my next period (which should be within 2 weeks at the most) we'll call on CD1-3 and get instructions on when to come in for u/s monitoring. We refused a medicated cycle but he of course still wants to do the Ovidrel prior to IUI. I understand it makes sense in helping time the IUI, but I worry about having my cycle put out of whack with unneccessary meds, so not sure about that one still! He mentioned my uterus looked "congested" which I've never heard before, and don't know what that means, and it sounded like he was saying my lining was thick and looked ready to shed - but then he said he'd talk to me in about two weeks... so I dunno!!


My OPKs still have that sort of dark line on them, so no clear indication of a surge, and my temp jumped high this AM, but I won't know for sure for another couple days if it's an indication of anything/ovulation (if it stays elevated). I am looking forward to next month and hoping for a NORMAL cycle and no more confusion on what's going on... maybe I should have waited a little longer for my cycle to regulate before searching for IPs, but then I wouldn't have found Vicki!! I'm trusting it's all going to be great next month... praying for it!!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

CD25, a twist?

Well my body is trying to keep us guessing I think. About mid day yesterday I started feeling some ovulation type pains and wondered what the heck was up with that? I've been crampy on and off a lot this cycle and wondered if it was just more cramps, and I was wrong about the location. I was going to Target last night anyway, to look for some lucky green socks for our IUI, and pick up a box of regular OPKs. Vicki and I had talked about using the 2 line OPK tests so we could see some actual progress before doing the digi's to confirm (being surprised with a positive digi when the test lines were so light earlier in the month had both of us looking for more "info" leading up to the positive)! My temp had also taken a huge dive yesterday AM down to 97.0, so part of me was suspecting my hormones were trying to regulate and do a "reset" to try and ovulate again since I didn't actually ovulate earlier in the month (and I have a feeling the cold/stress from being sick/meds were the reason for that since the timing of my positive OPK directly coincides with when I came down sick and started antibiotics). In any event, I bought a box of the Target brand OPKs and took one last night at 7:00 pm:

As you can see, it's not positive yet, but it's a pretty dark line and probably indicates I will ovulate soon, and should get a real positive in the next day or so. I brought one more OPK test with me to work today that I'll take mid-day, and depending on how dark the line is I may do a digi tonight or tomorrow. My temp is 97.3 so still normal pre-ovulatory range. So, if all of this is correct, that means I'll have had another very long cycle and we've still got a month or more until we can do our IUI in March! Part of me is glad that my body rebounded and went ahead and is trying to ovulate afterall, and part of me is bummed because this pushes us back a couple weeks and possibly more if my next cycle goes long too.

I'm not going to complain too much though, ovulating is a good thing, and being able to track and confirm it will be reassuring! So, now I'm hoping for a big temp jump in the next two days (again)!!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Valentine's Day!!

What a awesome couple days! Vicki and John were supposed to be going to Kooza (Cirque du Soleil) on the 13th, but it turned out John came down with an awful cold and stayed home sick all day Friday. While Vicki and I were IMing she invited me as her date to go in his stead!! I was SO EXCITED!! It ended up being a girls night, with me and Vicki and 2 of her friends. We drove down to Atlantic Station, and had a quick dinner at Moes (yummy!) and walked down to the giant blue and yellow circus tents. We got our tickets scanned and made our way to our seats - we were CLOSE! The set up of the show is awesome, very intimate, even if you're all the way in the back you're still not THAT far from the stage.

The performance was just incredible, and I couldn't believe how quickly the time FLEW by! The contortionists and the 2 men on the spinning wheels were my very favorite. I know Kenneth would be bored at something like that, so that may be a once in a lifetime for me! :) It was wonderful, and incredibly thoughtful and generous of Vicki to invite me and I appreciated it so much! And getting to hang out with her and 2 of her girlfriends in a "just for fun" environment was special and a new dimension to our relationship. Surrogacy came up a little bit, but not too much!

Then this morning I woke up to breakfast and bed (Kenneth makes fabulous omelettes) and roses and a box of chocolates! What a great way to start the day!

We were supposed to leave around 10:00 to be in Jonesboro at 11:00 for contract signing. Vicki called right around 10:00 to tell us that John was SO sick there was no way he was going to be able to go, he tried to get up and dressed and was just miserable so he had to go back to bed. Lynn, the attorney, said it was fine for him to sign later as long as at least 1 person from each party was there to sign and ask questions.

So, off we headed... the directions we had were HORRIBLE and we were almost an HOUR late, about 40 minutes of that was driving within a 10 mile zone around our destination, trying desparately to find it! Ugh!! I felt so awful!

We got in, and Lynn was very nice and Johnny was playing with his cars and animals and was too cute as usual. We set up around the conference room table and started passing around copies of the contract and signing each one. It was great to have that done, and really feel "official" and ready for the next step!! Yay!! Lynn took a couple pictures of us, and Vicki said one turned out ok so I'll add that later.

We (Vicki and I) have to meet up some time this coming week to exchange a couple things, and we're talking about their place or ours for dinner on Friday to get together and celebrate since we didn't get the chance today - hopefully John will be recouped by then! I still feel like my cold is hanging on a little, with some continued congestion which just doesn't want to go away!

In any event, one more step closer and I'm SOOO EXCITED to have contracts done, and can't wait to see what the coming month brings!!

I still haven't gotten confirmation on what happened with my cycle this month. I'm going to do my best to stay off any meds other than the herbs I have (and of course prenatals) just in case that had any effect, and hope and pray for a regular March cycle! Hopefully my period will be here in about a week or so, and we can start charting anew! :)

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Ho hummm...

I wish I knew what was going on with my body this month, but I truly have no clue. My temps have not jumped over 98.0 yet, which seems to be my "normal" post-ovulation temp which could mean several things. Yesterday Fertility Friend gave me this message:

If your chart does not show ovulation, there are several potential reasons. First, you may be still be waiting to ovulate or you may be experiencing a cycle with delayed ovulation. It may also be that you have to wait until your chart confirms ovulation by showing a clear biphasic pattern with the expected patterns for all fertility signs. Last but not least, it is not abnormal to have an occasional anovulatory cycle, even if you usually ovulate. In this case, anovulation may not be cause for too much concern if it happens only rarely. When it happens consistently, it is reason to talk to your healthcare provider so that together you can identify the cause and decide on a treatment if necessary. Sometimes ovulation may be delayed or occur late in a cycle. When this is the case, you may experience multiple patches indicating increased fertility within your cycle but the thermal shift and ovulation may occur later than expected in a cycle that is longer than usual. A cycle like this may show signs of increased fertility, (eggwhite cervical fluid, positive OPK, high, soft cervix, peak reading on fertility monitor, ferning on microscope devices) both just before the rise and earlier in the cycle when ovulation did not immediately follow.

So, I don't know if I'm anovulatory, having delayed ovulation or what the deal is. I'm annoyed but not too stressed about it (yet). I started taking the herbs again and will stay on them until I at least know what's going on, maybe they'll help balance things out. Part of me has been antsy and wanting to move forward with cycling in March instead of April, but then I see how screwy my cycle is still and guess it's smarter to give it some more time to figure things out... sigh...

We're going to sign contracts on Saturday! I'm so ecstatic to finally be at this point! Kenneth brought up something he INSISTED on having in the contract (protection in case of an STD because of the sperm being used for the IUIs) and I was so annoyed with him! I know he's trying to look out for me, and our family but I just thought that was a little ridiculous and have never heard of anything like that in a TS contract before... that's where you have to have a little faith and trust in the match you've picked! I'm still annoyed...! Thankfully Vicki was accomodating, she always is, I just feel like the bad guy everytime something new comes up. I think that's a big part of me being excited for contract signing, we can all stop trying to think through all the maybe/possible/what ifs that COULD happen in a worst case scenario and just focus on our match and our upcoming journey!!

Monday, February 09, 2009

CD18 - "O" today?

Well it looks like I have a long LH surge (again, this happened last time I used OPKs too). My temp dove to 97.3 (from 98.0 the previous two days) and should jump over 98 tomorrow to confirm today is ovulation day! So about 3-4 days off schedule total, which really isn't soo much, even though it's felt like an eternity these last couple of days!! I will be relieve tomorrow to see a good high temp to confirm my progesterone rising and a successful ovulatory cycle.

I'm feeling pretty good today, off sudafed and only a little congestion in my head, mainly just tired still so I'm sure I'll go home and relax all evening. We did laundry yesterday of all the blankets, sheets, pillow cases etc. to kill all the germs, I'm going to have to do them again tonight or tomorrow if we want to get the cold germs out completely and keep them out!

We might go sign the contract this Saturday afterall (I told Vicki it will be such a romantic way to spend part of Valentine's Day, ha ha)!!! It looks like John has work on the 28th. I will be thrilled to have contracts finalized and signed, and be one more milestone closer to the big day!!

Sunday, February 08, 2009

CD17 - waiting to confirm!

I'm sleepy and ready to head to bed, I didn't get to nap much today and we ran a few errands this evening and though I feel MUCH better overall I'm still recovering and need more rest... Kent's been tired too, and headed to bed a little early this evening. He spent a lot of the afternoon with his friends at the end of the street, I love that he can run down there and play on the weekends, and they can come over here.

In any event, no real updates yet! Today should be my actual ovulation, and my temps should jump tomorrow to confirm. I realized I've been on sudafed for about 3-4 days straight now which has probably impacted my cervical mucous a lot, I haven't had as much as normal and was trying to figure out why...

Kenneth got his new laptop tonight that he's been thinking about, so he's having fun playing with his new toy!

I had created a calendar in word a little while back, and now that we got the positive OPK I was playing with it today adding tentative dates and information for our upcoming cycle. I'm excited for this next cycle, about 2 months from now we'll be having our first IUI!! WOO HOO!!

Vicki and I talked about contract signing on the 28th (since the next couple Saturday's are "booked" between Valentine's Day and then they have a charity event on the 21st). Kenneth has drill that following week, so Vicki and I might take the boys for a weekend get-away that first weekend in March.

Ok, off to bed! :)

Saturday, February 07, 2009

If you're happy and you know it...

SMILEY FACE!!

I am so incredibly relieved and happy to see that little smiley face!! :) And it was pretty funny too, Kenneth and I decided to run some errands and use some AMC gift cards we got awhile back tonight, and the movie started at 5:00 so I knew I'd take the OPK and do it at the theater, I assumed it would still be negative since I was just starting (this morning) to get some egg white CM mixed in with the creamy, and my cervix moved up a little today, which was positive signs. But instead of a sad empty circle, when I went into the bathroom stall just before 5:00pm I got the most beautiful little SMILEY FACE!! I was so excited! I snapped a picture on my cellphone and e-mailed it to Vicki, she called me back to let me know she got it then I went back into the movie. I was grinning!

I was bummed that I didn't have my camera on me to take my normal pictures with the other sticks to compare, but this evening when we got home, when I pulled it out of my purse and ejected the test strip the smiley face came back for a couple minutes, so I got my pictures afterall! YAY!!

So I should ovulate within the next 2 days and thankfully I wasn't too far off schedule (ovulating CD 17 or 18 instead of 14 or 15), so we'll see if March is the same timeframe or if it's a little sooner next time. I feel so much better today though, and encouraged for the next 2 months.

So, off to bed and to update my Fertility Friend chart!

Friday, February 06, 2009

CD 15 - Still not "smiley"

Ugh! I am starting to feel bad, really bad... my body is definitely not "back on track" this month. I'm on CD15 and still no egg white CM and no smiley face OPK. My temps have been up and down a little bit too, leading me to wonder if this is going to be an anovulatory cycle, or a really long cycle. Only time will tell but I am feeling down for the moment. There's not a whole lot I can do in the mean time, but I did start taking the herbal supplements we bought for cycling (black cohosh, vitex, dong quai and red clover blossom. I took one of each today, and will keep taking one a day until my cycle straightens out - they can't hurt and they might just help. I was going to wait until at least next month, but there are 100 caplets per bottle so I figured it wouldn't make too big of a dent in the bottles to start them now! I'm still drinking the Dong Quai tea too (blech)!!

Here's today's picture:
I keep thinking maybe the lines are getting darker, but they seem faded by the next day, they're all pretty light still.

I stayed home today too, and stayed in bed or laying on the couch all day, except for a trip to the doctor. She went ahead and put me on antibiotics for 10 days, I have fluid and a lot of pressure in my ears, and I'm taking the Sudafed 12 hour pills to help dry things up. I've had a bit of vertigo with the ear congestion.

In any event, I'm glad it's the weekend and I can rest and hopefully feel back on track by Monday!!

Thursday, February 05, 2009

CD14 OPK Update

Not too much to report today. I am feeling really under the weather. I tried to go to work today and lasted 4 hours before giving up, coming home and crawling into bed for 5 1/2 hours... I'm still exhausted... I hope sleeping most of the day will help give me an edge and get me a little closer to recovery...

OPK today still has the sad empty circle, but it does appear that my test line is getting darker (I know the digi's say you can't go by the darkness of the test line, but at least 2 other's have told me theirs did get darker closer to their LH surge).

Still crossing fingers for my surge to happen sometime this week.


Vicki said we have our updated contract, so I need to pull that up and look at it, and am getting back under the covers for the evening.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

CD13 OPK and my "Junkie Drawer"

I tested this afternoon when I got home, and it was negative still (as expected, still no fertile CM) but Vicki mentioned pictures when we chatted today so I took some!! :D I love that my IM is as picture happy as me!! :D Yay!

Still a sad little empty circle... I can't wait to see that smiley face!!

And I had to take one with some encouragement and positive thinking from my mug!! :D

Something else I took a picture of this evening is my updated "Junkie Drawer"!! I have a drawer in the bathroom with all my "surrogacy supplies". For my GS it was mainly full of sharps supplies, and now it's got a few sharps left for my B12 injections, but is mainly stocked with HPTs and OPKs from Vicki along with the herbal supplies recommended by a good friend of mine!!

Here's my GS drawer:


And my TS drawer:
Kent and I get a little quiet time home this evening since Kenneth has a late evening at work. My throat is still sore so I'm going to fix some tea and warm up some dinner and chill out with a show or two from the DVR and hang out with my boy!!

Cold cold, go away!

My OPK was negative last night (which I knew it would be since I still don't have the "fertile" CM which I always get within a couple days of ovulation). But still, it was fun to try out the digital OPK, and even though the little circle was empty (no smiley face) it was exciting - that was the first of many tests I will use in our cycling attempts. I am praying for success our first month, and hoping that our charting and planning ahead of time will help facilitate everything going smoothly in April. Vicki seems to be just about as excited as me to be charting and using the OPKs this cycle - she asked me a couple times yesterday if I'd tested yet! I don't want to waste them, but I'm only doing one a day for now and shouldn't need more than 1 box per cycle. If I get my LH surge by Friday then I'll only have used 4 tests, and will still have 3 for next cycle... argh! The waiting to see what happens this month is killing me!! :D I know I need to relax, stressing about whether or not my body is back in synch is certainly not going to help anything. I meant to bring my OPK to work so I could take it around 3:00pm, but since I forgot it (again) looks like I'll be sticking with evening testing.

I have been coming down with something for a couple days, I woke up yesterday with a scratchy throat and ears, took Nyquil last night and woke up with an even worse sore throat today... my whole throat and nose feels coated with sinus crap, and my eyes are red and my head is stuffy and I'm tired. I wish I could sleep for a day under the covers, but I took Friday off last week so I'll take my Dayquil and try to make it through the rest of the week. Kent was coughing a little this morning too, so I wonder if he's got it too... It got SO cold today! With wind chill it was about 3 degrees this morning, high in the low 30's today. Brrr!! I can't wait for warmer months!

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

CD12 and counting!

Today is CD12 in my cycle, and I'm starting to anxiously (not too anxiously??!!) watch for the telltale signs that my body is going to cooperate and be back on track this month! I should ovulate around Thursday or Friday, and am hoping HARD that it happens, so we can calculate out the next couple months and have a good time frame estimate for our IUI in April. I should have started drinking the Dong Quai tea I have at the beginning of the cycle, it's supposed to help regulate hormones. I guess I'll start tonight, can't hurt!

It's been a busy couple days since I last updated! We did get the STD policy application in hand, and I submitted that electronically, but we didn't get a copy of the application so now I have to bug the rep for that, and I'm not sure exactly what happens next. I'm sure there will be a physical or something along those lines prior to approval of the policy.

AND we did get our first draft of the contract on Friday!! It was such a busy weekend for me that I didn't really get a chance to look at it until yesterday, but I went through it and added my edits and sent that to Vicki to look at to add her edits so we can agree on everything before we send it back to Lynn. I'm hoping to have that wrapped up within the next couple weeks, just depends on how quickly the attorney turns everything around once we get it back to her.

So, the Get Together this weekend was AWESOME!! I picked Kent up from school at 2:00 on Friday, and we drove down to the Residence Inn where everyone was meeting up. We got there around 4:30, and I let Kent swim in the pool for awhile. Carolee showed up I think around 6:00? I can't remember now, but it was my first time meeting her so we hung out in the pool area with the kids and chatted until Anna and her family showed up! Eventually we got everyone settled and went to dinner at Outback. It was yummy and just FUN to hang out with everyone! Shara Khon arrived at the tale end of dinner, and then we all headed back to the hotel and hung out in Carolee's room, chatting, being silly, and taking goofy pictures! It was awesome, a grown up slumber party.

Saturday we all caravaned to Publix to pick up a few last minute supplies then headed over to St. Paul's Episcopal Church where we were having the GTG. Andrea and Brant hosted the event for us, even though Andrea was horribly under the weather! I felt so bad!!

We had a good sized group show up and had a fantastic time hanging out, munching on goodies, watching the kids play, and enjoying each others company! I love the GTG's so much. There is just nothing like it...! I thought of Vicki and John throughout the day and was missing them and bummed that they weren't there, so I texted Vicki on the way home around 5:30 and then called to chat for a minute - she had just sent me an e-mail saying the same thing, it was funny! We hadn't PMed on Friday since I stayed home that day, and I told her it felt like it had been awhile since we talked, and I think it was because we missed just that one day of talking. I told her I'm getting spoiled already!! :)

Vicki and I talked yesterday about trying to get to the mountains this month for a weekend vacation so Kenneth and I are trying to figure out if we can swing that. I would LOVE to go!! Kent would have such a blast in the snow, and I think it would be fantastic to have a whole weekend at a cabin to hang out together. I think it would be a blast! It's been tight for us with Kenneth not working much the past couple months, and just starting back to school - so we're having to be careful with our "extras" for the time being. I still hope we can figure a way to swing it. :)

And last update is I called and talked to my mom last night! I had told her I was hoping to match again and pursue another journey, but hadn't told her about it being TS and haven't talked to her since I matched with John & Vicki. The conversation went really well. I was nervous about HOW I was going to tell her, but it just spilled out of my mouth and I felt really excited about telling her once I got into it. She is excited for us, and I think she would really love to meet Vicki and get updates on how everything goes, and in the future. She commented on TS being very different then GS, and I told her I've said numerous times that I often feel like I'm starting from scratch this time around!

Things are going great, and I think I'm really starting to feel "settled" in our relationship with each other. It's getting more and more natural to pick up the phone, or shoot an e-mail, or just check in. It's a great feeling!