Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Regrouping...

I feel so bad for my IPs! "L" got the call last night that they were canceling our cycle because she wasn't responding as they'd hoped to the stim protocol they had her on. I called the clinic this AM and left a message to find out what I'm supposed to do next, but I haven't heard back yet. "L" was pretty upset, and I wish I knew what to say. It was her first stim cycle, and everyone responds differently to meds and they're trying to be careful with her and only give her exactly as much stimulation as she needs and no more so its not too surprising that they didn't get it right the first time, but I know its still disappointing.

She mentioned that the clinic is closed for 2.5 weeks during the Holiday season and she's worried we won't get another shot until January - I think they could get us in for December so hopefully we'll hear what the game plan is soon. Having a game plan and something to focus on and count down to always helps with moving on and moving forward.

I'm a little bummed I won't get to find out if my lining would have held up this time. Hopefully I'll start out just as well next time around, and more importantly hopefully my lining will END well when we get our next shot! :)

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

An Award! :)

Thanks to the blogger of Tattoos and Teething Rings for the "I Give Good Blog" Award!

The rules for accepting the award are that I must pass it on to four more blogs.

I will pass this one on to:
1. Sara who writes "The Third Wheel" - an IM's journey through Traditional Surrogacy.
2. Kym at I'm A Smart One - an amazing woman and Gestational Surrogate who knows how to tell a story!
3. Jenn who writes Hope for Hailey, A Journey of Faith - another incredible woman who I am honored to have had the chance to get to know over the past few years. She has a heart of gold and is currently the gestational surrogate for the Kent's. Learn about their story here.
4. Jess who co-writes "It Takes Three" - I love this blog! You get to hear both viewpoints, Intended Mother (IM) and Traditional Surrogate (TS). Jess adopted her first daughter and Ginger was their birthmom, now they are working together again as TS and IM to create another beautiful baby!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Lots of happenings in the past week!

Man, when you're cycling things can change fast in a week! "L's" period arrived sooner than expected so her CD1 was on Wednesday the 14th. That was my 14th day of lupron, and my period decided it would go ahead and show up late that evening too. That had me really worried. I knew I was due for one, but "L's" period arrived sooner than planned and mine showed up later than expected and I was really worried that wasn't going to give us the time we needed to thicken it back up before transfer. I called the clinic Thursday AM and told them what was going on and they had me come in to check my estrogen levels and see what my lining looked like. It was at a 3.3mm and I'm not sure where my estrogen was, but it must have been ok. The bleeding stayed very light and completely tapered off by mid-day Friday so it didn't last long thankfully. I upped my estrogen to 2mg twice daily on Thursday and have begun to feel the change in dosage, I'm moodier and having a lot of breast tenderness too - but the estrogen is doing what its supposed to. I had a re-check this morning and my lining had thickened to a 6.2mm which is FANTASTIC for me! I was trying not to be too excited, but that is huge progress for me in just 4 days. I have every possible appendage crossed that things stay on this path and that my final lining check (probably at the end of this week) will look ok and we'll get the thumbs up... I cannot even express the depth of hope and anxiety I have for that moment.

After the ultrasound I had a brief consult with our nurse coordinator and she said Dr. Kort will take a look at everything and "L" has another follie check this AM so I should get a call back this afternoon to let me know how things look for her and what the next step is. Karen said based on "L's" last check (on Saturday) it could be about 5 more days on stims for her and then trigger. 3-day or 5-day transfer is dependant upon the number of embryos and how they look. Of course I hope for a 3-day - the sooner the better, not to mention it COULD just work out that Kenneth would be here if it is a 3-day... that would be amazing timing.

So, a positive check in from me and so many hopes and prayers that the next one will be positive too... I'm just keeping busy and trying not to think about it too much - I know whatever is going to happen is going to happen and its out of my hands. All I can do is my best, so that's what I'm working on and just enjoying my last week with Kenneth too - that's definitely helping to keep me from obsessing! :) We've been cramming a lot in in the past week he's been home, and I know the next week will fly by as well. I'm taking this Thursday and Friday as vacation days so we can enjoy more time together. We don't have any real plans, just a lot of "to-do's" we want to get done before he leaves again. He's already gotten a lot done in the short amount of time he's been home and I appreciate that immensely.

We ordered our new refrigerator and it will be here on Sunday - I'm SO excited about that!! I can't even tell you!! I'm ecstatic! We got the one we've both been eyeballing for a couple years now. Kenneth is going to move the old one down to the basement after the new one is installed, and he's going to see if he can fix the broken door so we can continue using the older one as a secondary fridge which would be nice for overflow and for drinks, and that sort of thing.

Ok, back to reality for a little while!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Phase II Begins Today! :)

I had called RBA last week to confirm my estrogen start date and they said to start today! I'm on 1mg twice a day and lupron has been reduced to 10 units instead of 20. When "L" starts her stim meds I'll increase my estrogen to 2mg twice daily. I'm still a little nervous about the whole lack of period before starting estrogen, but my fingers are crossed that it will be ok and won't ruin everything. According to the paperwork I'll get an ultrasound on "L's" day 8-10 of stim meds so probably between the 24th - 26th (she's guessing her period will arrive Friday at the earliest or over the weekend).

"L" had all the meds shipped directly to her so she and I met up briefly yesterday afternoon at Perimeter mall so I could get the estrogen from her. It was nice to say "hi" - I think the last time we saw each other was at contract signing. :) Time has been going quickly! Since I had to come all the way over to Perimeter Kent and I made an afternoon of it and went to my office after church and I worked for about 2 hours and then we went to Cheesecake Factory for lunch - it was Kent's first time and of course he loved it. It was beautiful yesterday too - lots of sunshine and nice weather.

It's been raining all morning so far, hopefully it will dry up by this afternoon. I've got a lot to finish up at home and Kenneth will be on his way home tomorrow afternoon! Yay! I think I leave things until last minute on purpose - some sort of rush to get it done last minute or something. It's a very annoying habit. At least I got all the big things done in the master bath and bedroom.

Now to stay super busy today and tomorrow so the time goes quickly! :)

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Ack! Excitement Overload

Next week seems SO close and I am getting SO EXCITED!! Estrogen should be starting soon (I am going to just call the clinic and ask for a date, they must have one picked out by now since IM started her meds already!) And Kenneth comes home on TUESDAY EVENING - FIVE MORE DAYS!! AAAAHH!! :D

I have a long "to-do" cleaning list and a tentative menu list, and we have one get together with Kenneth's parents scheduled and I'm trying to figure out when we can meet up with his sister who is much farther away not to mention totally swamped with school right now (I'm thinking we can hopefully meet her half way). Need to figure out if his grandmother wants to see him while he's home too, and also am trying to work out a get together with 2 of his Marine buddies who will not be going on the deployment... it seems like a lot to cram into the next few days and I'm always excited to have a challenge to tackle, and it will make the time go even quicker. YAY! :)

Kent's school Fall Festival is this Saturday and he has jiu jitsu in the morning and we really need to swing by his great-grandmother's house and pick up the jeans she bought for him, the weekend is going to go fast!

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

My wonderful FIPs!!

I just had to express a little love for my former IPs, T&I. I had received an e-mail from a couple who was looking into using A Woman's Gift as their agency, and they'd asked for feedback, but they were looking for feedback from the IP's perspective. I forwarded the e-mail to my IPs and "I" called me back the next day and we chatted for nearly a half hour - I haven't talked to her in about 2 or 3 months so it was really good to catch up and hear how she's doing and hear all about Miss Munchkin! Fiona is such a smarty-pants and "I" was telling me about how she is counting numbers, and her very good manners, and her swimming lessons, and play groups... Fiona keeps them busy, and it is SO incredibly obvious how much they both adore that sweet little girl, and it always fills my heart up to overflowing when I get a sneak peek at their relationship. It makes me feel a part of something that is so special and so beautiful and I feel blessed again and again.

My FIF sent an e-mail today to follow up on the conversation "I" and I had, and one of the comments he wrote almost had me pulling out tissues: ""I" and I would of course give the highest recommnedation for you. If ever you need any kind of recommendation of any sort, please do not hesitate to ask. You are the best surrogate mother that any intended parents could hope for and we are eternally grateful to you for giving us Fiona." What more could I POSSIBLY ask for than that?? That even after all we went through, all they gave, all their patience, their hope that things would work out with our sibling transfer, all the issues with my lining, extra medications, all the excess doctor appointments and bills... that they still feel that way? I am humbled and so very blessed. I don't even really know what to think, I know I don't feel I deserve for them to feel that way and I also know I am SO grateful that they do.

It is also a wonderful feeling to know that months can go by and we can just pick up and get in touch every now and then, just to check in - knowing they still think about me, and getting the chance to tell them I still think about them (every day - I have Fiona's birth announcement on my bulletin board behind my computer monitor and so I "see" her every day - its my little pick me up)!

So, I had a warm fuzzy today and wanted to share. Thank you to all the incredible IPs out there who take the time to tell their surrogates things like my IF told me today, things that will forever mean so much to us, things that we will treasure and hold close to our hearts always.

Monday, October 05, 2009

IM's meds start this week!

I am even more excited that my IM starts her provera on Wednesday, and I'm hoping shortly after that I'll get the phone call with instructions on a date to start estrace.

I am a little worried about the timing of my cycle with meds starting, I think lupron started just as I ovulated naturally and if that's the case my period might arrive later than they had planned which could potentially interfere with my lining building in the amount of time they've set aside prior to transfer. Fingers crossed it will all come together, but of course I can't help but occupy my mind with trying to pre-plan for all the "what ifs" in the mean time!

Kenneth will be home in EIGHT days!! WOO HOO!! One more weekend, and I'll finally get to see him. It's sort of sinking in just how long he's been away... 1 1/2 months since I saw him last in Alabama. Maybe that doesn't sound as long as it feels - because it feels like forever. But I think that's because it feels compounded from the months he's been gone prior to our visit in Alabama with just a couple visits in between. It's hard to remember when he's been gone and when he's been home, the last 4 months are sort of a blur!

The weather is definitely cooling off here, and today is rainy and overcast so far. We had a little bit of a reprieve yesterday afternoon with milder weather and a little bit of sunshine, so I took Kent and the dogs to the backyard to get some pictures of them. I wanted to try to get all 5 dogs with him, but that did NOT happen - it was hilarious though!! I think I managed to get 4 in one shot, and that was the best I could get. A couple would sit still and then someone would start chasing someone around the yard, and others would join in, then Kent would tussle with one and 3 others would jump in on it... very cute! I'll have to go through the pics tonight and see if there are any good ones to share. :)

Here's to another busy week so the days pass quickly!!

Friday, October 02, 2009

Sniffle... sniffle... hiccup

The new addition of hormones via lupron did not take long to make their presence known. I was listening to the radio this AM and was listening to a discussion about Letterman's announcement and they were playing clips of the show and I got choked up... actual tears choked up. And all I could feel was confusion for these tears... where did they come from? Was I actually sad? Why was I sad? No... I didn't think I was really sad... so again, where did these tears come from??! I know EXACTLY where they came from... it was injected into my body via a teeny tiny sub-q needle not too long ago! ACK!! It's been a really long time since I've been on lupron and I'm already aware you don't necessarily react the same to meds you've been on before so I wasn't exactly expecting or not expecting anything - but I wasn't expecting to be weepy within 24 hours of my first lupron injection. Sigh... I hope it doesn't just get worse from here! I am kind of assuming my reactions are partially because I'm already emotionally charged with Kenneth being gone and now getting ready for his visit soon - so maybe I'm more suscebtible then I would be otherwise.

I heard from my IM this morning, she sent me a note to check in - she received our meds and we need to meet up in the next couple weeks so I can get mine from her - not sure exactly when they'll give me a call and tell me to start estrogen, but we're guesstimating between the 12th and 14th. My IPs will be out of town through the 10th, so maybe right after they get back we can get together and I can get those from her. I can't wait for more actual dates! :)

Kenneth called last night to check in, they're heading out to the field for their final mission and he was going to be out of touch for a few days so he wanted to say hi. He sounds a lot better. He's been SO sick and then going out into the cold every day and not just staying in and totally recouping has caused it to drag on it sounds like. I know he has to work, but I just feel so bad that he can't just recover, and he's having to suffer through. He said his throat still feels really raw and sore.

Anyhow, that's my update for the moment! We're going to spend this weekend cleaning. No major plans, so time to do some of those things I don't usually spend much time on - baseboards, dusting, all that fun stuff. I love having a nice clean house, for the short time it lasts around here!